I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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