Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
