I would go down on you faster than GM stock
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize