Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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