Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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