i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
