I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
