btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
