nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
