week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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