if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
