So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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