I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
