They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
