is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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