I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
