It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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