YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
