Those balls look pretty dangerous.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
