I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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