Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize