Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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