also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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