I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
