Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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