is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
