yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
