If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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