that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
