it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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