I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
