He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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