Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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