my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
