She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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