Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
