WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm jealous of your bromance
its not stalking. its research.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
