Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Bring me that man meat
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
