ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
