hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
