Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.