Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
