well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
i've created a new STD.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Randomize