she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
