Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
