I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
