how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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