I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Still dying that you shit outside
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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