Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
