I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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