My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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