Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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