I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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