We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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