Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
