You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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