I must be too annoying 4 u.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize