I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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