Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
